Cold nightIt is a cold night. Not like last night; last night had clung to me, formed a clammy air-tight tunnel and funnelled me through its time, each second hanging from my brow in its desperate wet hot marbles. I had sat about my desk near naked, angular, a twisted skin cupboard of bone integers that refused to add up; bent heavily over a mass of blueprints, schedules and probabilities.Cold night by dreamingshadow
I had looked up at God then, at the squinting black window: feeling neither the priest nor the mathematician on my side. Feeling nothing at my side. Feeling just the thick speed of sweat rushing through the hairs of my skin like foxes in a thicket.
Each new line of text sitting as a new grid on my mind's floor, into which only further numbers and circumstances could fall and bubble up through; each minus slitting a new eye into my face with which I could see more of what I did not want to see, what I could not make sense of, what I could not pin down nor set right.
Somehow sleep had come to me and I hung acros
thinThe feeding begins;thin by dreamingshadow
pumps and pipes slit and slip under bone yawned skin,
this is what the sick machine brings -
a thick screaming slurry to silence the brittle chalk white bone rings
each slick of oozed broth
wrapping vulnerability like cloth
and smothering the caged heart that sings.
You will be soft, you will not spike;
you will roll in the sheets as a marshmallow in the night;
with no rivets or pivots for nightmares to pool in
they will sink through your marsh pink and wrestle deep under your skin.
How will a skeleton speak, of a mind torn through the grave
when each syllable is dribbled
out of a living, flabby cave?
You know the game's up,
you know you can't ever win.
You could see that then as fat belched under your skin.
How will they understand, just filling you with life,
that no nozzle or pipe can fill up the death in your eyes.
They changed me, dressed me healthy. Fattened me like the rest.
Please see the real me, skeletal,
within this hell house of flesh.
I have been featured here:|